no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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