You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
