I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
