Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we made out on top of his cat.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize