i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she was so not down for the gang bang
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
