I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
