i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this will be a night to untag.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
