you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
