I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
