I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
