I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
