I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
