i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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