u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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