"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
