What tipped you off? The sombrero?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize