fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
