I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
