No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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