Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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