I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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