what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
