i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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