I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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