Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
