She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You can't motorboat a personality
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
