i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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