I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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