I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
