Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
