I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
