he puts the penis in happiness.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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