If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
