READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Drunk is a universal language darling
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