I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
