did you get engaged???
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry about my life...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
