You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
