Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
