Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
