It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
