dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
