we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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