Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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