Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
