Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
