duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
