Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
