Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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