Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
