Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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