I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
