Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
