It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She said her name was "party"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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