After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize