hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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