Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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