her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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